how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
