my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize