READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
