I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
