its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
