Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
