we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
