just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
