her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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