Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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