he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Never underestimate the power of titties
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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