I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
