it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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