Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
