His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
