My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
