Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
