Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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