My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
