sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
