A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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