Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
