It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
