No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
