i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
