Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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