That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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