Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
