pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
