Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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