Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize