One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
