hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize