I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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