Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize