I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
