Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
