It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
