I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
