and next time when you feel me up, do it right
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
