i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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