I bet he comes in French.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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