Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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