so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
