Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
