In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
