my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
where are my eyebrows?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
