just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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