woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
