Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
