are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
