I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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