I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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