My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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