Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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