We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish my penis had a tongue
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
