my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
