I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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