ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
