dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
