Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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