I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
