Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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