So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i drank out of a bidet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
