then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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