Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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