I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
